Are all of these things essential or simply optional? It depend on what you are looking for. If the soil in the home does not provide nutrition for your family it will become malnourished and growth will become stunted. Many people then try to make themselves look good on the outside to others but know that real growth on the inside is not going very good. If there is no stability in the home and a storm comes the family can have real problems and have real root system problems or become uprooted. The problem here is that uprooted trees are everywhere but the root system is rarely looked at. You might not even see the real results of a damaged root system until much later in life. Again, if you are only looking at the outside you might occasionally see things that clue you in or you might not. Families in the 21st century are very good at simply “plugging in” or hiding any issues so that things look good on the outside. The problem is that the “rug sweeping” only lasts for so long because the roots will continue to weaken and eventually a storm will come in some form or another and expose the root problems.

I go back again to the ability to communicate because without great communication it’s very hard to monitor the root system properly. Great communication will allow you to know when to prop up a metal bar to allow your family to re-establish some healthy roots. It will also allow you to see when watering is needed and when a bit of shelter is needed to brace for a coming storm.

Encouragement: Imagine that the unseen part of your family system is a root system. Now imagine all the things in our 21st century world that speak to or affect your family (including you) and take an inventory of how healthy or not healthy you think this “ground/soil” is. Is your communication good enough to really know what the system looks like? Form an action item list to get involved in proper care of the root system.

Most families tend to develop traditions as the years go by and a common tradition is a “movie night.” I love to get pizza and sit down with the kids for a Friday night movie. I’ve already had some priceless memories of movie night with the boys because they love to get up after every movie and dance with the soundtrack (esp my 3yr old) and pretend to be the characters we just watched. Recently, we watched Madagascar 2 and our whole family was just cracking up at Moto Moto. It was priceless to watch my boys run around after the movie singing, “I like em big, I like em chunky” and trying to flex their pecs:)

It’s so great to have traditions that bring the entire family together. I know for some families it’s water skiing or playing a sport. It can be difficult to find something that spans across all ages and works well for both boys and girls, but it’s extremely important.

What are your favorite traditions? What traditions could you create to help bring everyone together?